routine

I've never been a very good creature of habit. While I fit very well into existing structures, such as work and school, I have yet to succeed at creating consistent routines in my personal life. There is within me a deep rebellion against the notion that life may be divided into little boxes and arranged in a tidy row. Life is a whole lot messier (and more wondrous) than that.

At this point in my life, I crave order. Not the sort of spine tightening order of the woman down the street, who walks her shih tzu every day at 6 am and calls the police when the neighbors' raucous backyard BBQ goes on past sunset. I crave an order that will allow me to develop my talents and pursue the interests that bring me joy. I would like to follow this command from Gustave Flaubert, "Be regular and orderly in your life, so that you may be violent and original in your work."


This weekend I began rereading Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott. The first time I read it, I enjoyed it, but (since I've never had any delusions of becoming a writer) it didn't particularly "speak" to me. Now that several years have passed and I am attempting to learn a new craft, her words are like those of an honest and gentle mentor. Today, I did not feel like throwing until I thought of the chapters "Short Assignments" and "Perfectionism." I decided I didn't have to create something I could be proud of, I just had to throw.

So I did. Although I didn't create something worth keeping, it was good to get my hands back into clay. I am still having a lot of trouble with pulling, but I've found that wedging, centering, and opening have become much easier. Pulling will surely follow. The bottom of this bowl is way to thin and its shape is the result of my decision to salvage an unwieldy pull. I plan to practice trimming on it.